Last winter I was parking my car in a snowbank. OK, I said to myself, “I’ve got this…plan ahead so you don’t get stuck”. My husband is a good winter driver. I learned to drive in Vancouver so snow experiences were rather rare until I moved to Alberta. Still, after getting stuck a few times in a rut, he taught me his method to prevent getting stuck and successfully getting moving again if I do get stuck. I will share with you my what I learned and discovered, now that I’m a winter driver!
This experience created a lot of learning. Here is how it went that winter day! First, I prepared a path for getting out (drive back and forth, before turning the car off, so that I have a well-travelled path of ice crystals and am less likely to sink down), I parked at the top of the snow hill (bad decision to park in a soft snow bank) and left room behind me (this is key, I thought). I got out of my car, pleased with myself, my experience and my planning. However, when I returned to my car an hour later, there was no room behind me, at all!. A car had parked illegally and now was butted to my bumper. I panicked. I looked around and noticed the neighbours watching me. Oh no! I was stuck and worse than that, on display.
However, I pulled my heart back into my chest and began to move forward and backwards, small movements, because there wasn’t much room. Back and forth with no change in direction. Just as I was gaining momentum the impatient and well-meaning neighbour yelled “You need to turn the wheel”. I knew I needed to change direction but I also knew I was not quite ready, not enough momentum yet. And so instead I asked for help. I called out “when I am ready to change direction could you be behind me and give me a little nudge?” She agreed to that. As I continued my forward and back motion, at some point I knew I was ready for a change of direction. Perhaps she gave me a little push, I’ll never know. What I do know is that waiting until I was ready and then asking for the help that I needed, were part of the strategy that assisted me with getting out of that tight spot and changing direction.
What I learned that day were a few life lessons. I need to get moving, even in very small ways, before I commit to a change in direction. When I find myself in a rut I need to listen to my own intuition, not take the advice of others, but rather, ask for the help and support that I might need. And, when I do get stuck…that requires a a whole new set of strategies. Gratefully that day I did not get stuck!
I have begun to explore with my clients, that are making changes big and small in their lives, how they navigated getting out of a rut. Each of them has a slightly different story and method. By the way, everyone seems to have a “stuck in the rut” story. I’d encourage you to consider these questions…. What have you learned about how to prevent getting stuck? And, how did you get out when you got stuck in the rut? These answers provide us with our own wisdom about making change and managing obstacles.